March 29, 2011

Beware the electable candidate

In common wisdom (verminous media parlance), for a liberal to be "electable", he can be black or white. He can be  a she. He can be an atheist, a black magician, or a Jew. He can be a Catholic, a Methodist, or Muslim. He can be American, or Kenyan, or of unknown lineage: for a liberal to be "electable", he must simply be a liberal.

For a Republican to be "electable", he must simply be a liberal AND be ludicrous enough that even the vermin in the media - the B-graders, the bespectacled, palid little drones who spent High School sitting out of sports and with their heads being flushed down the toilet - may be capable of assassinating his character, destroying his candidacy, and punishing the world for their inability to get laid with four more years of Comrade Barry.

That is why, if you don't smoke pot for a 3PM breakfast, you have held a job for more than a week in the last decade, you have never smashed up a McDonald's store front, and you vaguely value (or understand; that's good enough) the principles, values, and culture that underpin this republic, you should run a mile from any Republican who common wisdom designates as "electable".

We will see who these putzes attempt to foist on the Republican party in due course. Warning signs will include references to "pragmatic" choices; assertions that "the economy is the major issue of the day", and inevitable platitudes about "independent voters" being key.

In turn: a "pragmatic choice" is a vermin mediaism for a candidate who has nothing in common with you but who MSNBC has yet to label a Nazi;

The "the-economy-is-key" narrative in support of a candidate is the vermin media's desperate plea that a Republican voter should overlook the candidate's penchants for killing babies, allowing gays to marry, coddling Muslim fanatics, and opening the border to terrorists, as long as the chosen puppet clucks about balancing budgets/putting American back to work/encouraging enterprise;

"Independent voters", let us be clear, fall into two categories; either, they are radicals leftists or right-wingers who choose to cloak their hardline dogma in the bizarrely-respectable veil of "independent" in order to assume an unearned image of originality of thought or moderation of view, OR they are morons - indecisive, unknowing half-wits of the type who ponder a drive-through menu for ten minutes before asking if the cheese-burger comes with cheese. Independent voters, so-called, are either communists or idiots.

As the 2012 field begins to assemble, and the salivating tingly-legged creeps in the media poop themselves about a conservative landslide next fall, beware the anointed "electable" Republican.

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